I realized something today … a few somethings actually. The first of which is that I feel the most at home in a pair of pointe shoes, wearing false eyelashes and chassé-ing around a stage.
I suppose I already knew that though, deep down. I’ve always known that ballet and I are attached; fused is probably a better way to put it. Ballet is part of me, never to be removed. But I also focus on other things; my design career, my artwork, my writing … other things I am quite passionate about. I forget (ever so slightly) just how much ballet has a hold on me.
Which brings me back to pointe shoes. I suppose that most ballet dancers have a love/hate relationship with pointe shoes. Dancers (myself included) love them because they are beautiful; the lines that they create are stunning. It is such an amazing feeling to float across the stage on your toes in a flurry of chaîné turns, or a flutter of bourrés … And you never feel as light or as long as when you step into a piqué arabesque and your arms and legs are stretching out out out away from your center as everything rests on the toes of one foot. The hate part? Well, the hate part has to do with the blisters, the bruised toenails, the bunions, the Achilles tendonitis (that never seems to go away). But somehow the love part more than makes up for the hate part …
Any-hoo, I wore pointe shoes today for the first time in a long time, and although they were a bit uncomfortable at first, they were somehow simultaneously fantastic. I felt like myself in them; I felt at home. I participated in a dance film workshop (an incredible experience which you will soon hear MUCH more about); we filmed from 12:30pm to 4pm today, and I danced on stage in a beautiful costume, with full hair and makeup. I’m thrilled to say that my feet made it through the entire shoot without any blisters. They were admittedly slightly numb toward the end (which isn’t unusual, actually), but it was great.
Which brings me to another realization of the day. I need to dance more. And more and more and more. Teaching ballet is wonderful, and writing about it is fantastic, but I need to keep practicing it for myself as well; for my mind, my body, and my soul.
Today was a monumental one. I have a plan. A plan that will allow me to fully embrace dance again, without sacrificing my other passions. I’m embarking on a new path. A path that will take me back home.